April Fools’ Day: Landon Cassill lets himself go | NASCAR.com – Nascar (blog)
Editor’s note: This article is running on April 1.
Landon Cassill, driver of the No. 34 Front Row Motorsports Ford, has announced that he has decided to completely abandon his fitness-driven lifestyle.
“After much discussion with my family and my team, we’ve decided that now is the time to just let myself go completely,” Cassill said on a Facebook Live video this morning from his home.
Cassill’s decision is, in his own words, one that he hopes will expand his understanding, as well as his abdomen.
“I like to keep an open mind. This means new experiences,” Cassill said. “For several years, it was all about eating right, marathons, triathlons — all forms of –thons, really. Time to experience the other side of the spectrum.”
Cassill’s formerly healthy approach used to be the exception in the garage, and now it has become the rule, with many drivers beginning fitness regimens in order to improve in-car performance.
“I mean, it used to be really easy to take a post-practice bike ride,” Cassill said. “I was like the only one out there. Now there’s this big peloton. Jimmie, Dale, Jamie, Matt. Drivers everywhere on bikes. Just looking for an excuse to wear bike shorts, I think. I just didn’t feel original anymore.”
His race team is completely supporting Cassill’s decision, removing all treadmills and spin bikes from the shop, adding more high-sodium-and-saturated-fat options to the snack machine.
“Whatever he wants … I guess,” said crew chief Donnie Wingo, as he stocked the vending machine with root beer and marshmallows wrapped in bacon.
As part of Cassill’s new total-lack-of-fitness regimen, he plans on waking up every race day approximately 40 minutes before green flag. He will then consume a full order of deep-fried pickles while wearing his Snapchat spectacles.
Cassill also plans on installing a recliner in his pit box where he can lounge during stage breaks, binge-watch episodes of “Better Call Saul” on his iPad, and vape.
“We’re considering swapping the electrolyte drink inside the car with a bottle of maple syrup with a straw in it. And showing up to the drivers’ meeting in pajama pants. All options are on the table,” Cassill added.
Our Steve Luvender helpfully created the below graphic to show Landon’s totally real transformation.
Write a Reply or Comment:
You must be logged in to post a comment.