Christmas is nearly here, which means it’s time to rip through the wrapping paper and … generally feel underwhelmed, but fake it really well to your loved ones.
Some of these presents may contain toys. Some of these presents may contain hockey toys!
There have been a few phases of hockey toys through the years. We’ve had Startling Lineup dolls that eventually begot McFarlane toys. We’ve had Nintendo hockey games and then two decades of EA Sports video game mastery. We’ve had hockey cards, many of which are worth up to TWO DOLLARS in 2015. In Canadian money …
On a special edition of Marek Vs. Wyshynski, guest host Dave Lozo and I reminisce about holiday gifts of yore, from hockey to general gifting. In other words, we rant about how crappy Laser Tag and electronic football were.
And now, a brief look at the best and worst hockey toys/gifts of all time:
Nintendo Ice Hockey (1988)
You can just ice the puck if you’re going to argue Blades of Steel or that any modern hockey game’s intricacies are as fun as the simplistic charms of Nintendo Ice Hockey, because they aren’t. Skinny, medium, fat, fat and go for the gold.
Wayne Gretzky Los Angeles Kings McFarlane
Look at how happy that silly bastard is. That’s the look of a man who knows he’ll hold nearly every NHL scoring record and get to meet Alan Thicke after the game for a beer.
Bob Corkum Starting Lineup Figure
As Sean Leahy wrote: “This is what happens when a) you play for an expansion team with a logo based off a popular movie and b) you lead said team in goals and finish one point behind the team’s leading scorer, Terry Yake. Corkum had his best year, and his only season in the NHL with more than 20 points, with the expansion Mighty Ducks. I’d like to imagine that the NHL ignored his oversize blade, which likely helped with Corkum’s production.”
Craig Simpson Upper Deck “Be A Player” card
Really, any “Be a Player” card can fit here, but could you imagine ripping open a wax pack in your stocking and not only getting a player you absolutely don’t want or need, but getting one in which he’s in mom jeans reading a book?
What are you best and worst hockey holiday toys, cards and collectables?
Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at email@example.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.
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